tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9124618642984887009.post1227775820845901600..comments2023-10-14T09:31:43.919-04:00Comments on Stellar Parenting 101: Openess in Adoption from Foster Carestellarparenting.comhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04975942737904876508noreply@blogger.comBlogger2125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9124618642984887009.post-64799687539853574922010-08-27T21:22:41.406-04:002010-08-27T21:22:41.406-04:00Great post. The system is certainly not set up to...Great post. The system is certainly not set up to deal with siblings, birth family, and any openness in adoption. Our children were dumped into foster care by their mother, just as she was dumped into foster care by hers. She chose to keep their two younger siblings and has since had a baby (all the children have different fathers and most of the men in their life were abusive). My children were 9 and 11 when they last saw their sisters who were about 4 and 7. They've never met their youngest sister who is almost 2. <br /><br />We want to keep them in contact, but we don't really want to open all the trauma wounds that being around birth mom would inflict. My son is severe RAD so he's bot as affected by this, but it tears my daughter up.<br /><br />To top it all off they live 4 states away and the state was done with us when the adoptions were final so any contact made has to be initiated by us and we have to coordinate with birth mom who is not that mentally stable.<br /><br />So I schmooze with biomom and send her pictures of the kids, and restrain myself when she makes comments about "her" kids, all so my kids can continue to have contact with their sisters. She has given me baby pictures and filled in some gaps for me about the kids childhood and medical history so I think I can honestly also say include the biofamily if possible.<br /><br />Mary in TXmarythemomhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/08205319256573120866noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9124618642984887009.post-22369939344236156352010-08-24T20:57:36.297-04:002010-08-24T20:57:36.297-04:00We are adopting from the foster system and will go...We are adopting from the foster system and will go to court to make things final on Sept.14. I read your post with interest as I have never considered including C's siblings and parents into our family. His situation was a pathetic one. His family is full of selfish poor choices. Sadly he does have 2 siblings that he has only ever seen at the occasional family get together. We live in a fairly small town and I see some of his biologicals in Walmart on a fairly regular basis. They dont know me, and I dont take him with me. I hate living like this, but I dont feel like I can invite them to church after I would actually talk to them. They did some very cruel things to C and so..... well I'm sure you understand. I will consider the siblings as they live with their fathers who are, of course, different than C's father. Appreciate yourpost!<br /><br />CybilCybilhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/14085832611503464757noreply@blogger.com