Wednesday, March 25, 2009

It's all good.

I have been saying that for years and this morning I found myself remembering that sometimes it is just that - all good.

I woke up this morning at 6:30, glanced out the window and saw the most beautiful sunrise, it was amazing, knowing it was going to be a long day I rolled over and got a little more sleep. The boys got up happy and excited about the coming days and it was a pleasure to get them off to school. I heard birds this morning, not just one or two but a springtime chorus of birds singing as I took the dogs outside. It was a good start to the day and caused me to stop and think for a few minutes about the last year of our lives.

Last year at this time I was plowing through a homestudy and feeding puppies at all hours. I was dreaming and wondering about kids, foster kids, adopted kids, little feet and voices in our house. I wondered what it would be like to be a parents to more then a pack of animals I called my children. Could I do it? Would I be a good Mom? Who would be here? What would there stories be?

If you had asked me then where I would today I probably would not of known what to say. Life has a way of taking the path you least expect when you least expect it. When the social worker first told of us the boys I said no - I didn't want a separated sibling group, I wanted the whole group. Then she told us again about them and I let go of my expectations, I let go of what I thought about what it was that I wanted and I decided to trust that whatever kids ended up here were the ones that needed to be here. I heard more about my boys, more about their story, the things that they would needed, the things they liked and the things they disliked and I knew that these were the boys for us.

In July we met 2 sweet boys, one very scared of yet another move and one who needed to fill the silence with his words and actions. Those little boys needed a family and we were it. 2 weeks later they moved in. It has been a long 8 months, it has not been easy and I never for a moment thought it would be but I do not regret a minute of it either.

Calvin helped me hang laundry on the line today and I thought to myself about how far he has come in the last few months, what a different little boy he is now. Fudge got organised with a minimal amount of prompting yesterday - a huge step for him - he ahs changed so much from the little boy who wouldn't even talk to me when we met. They have grown in the last 8 months, physically of courses, as all children do. But more importantly emotionally, they are more sure of themselves, many behaviours have disappeared or only come out when they are stressed. They believe us when we say that they are staying, they don't ask when they are moving anymore. They are excited to meet new family and friends instead of just terrified, like they were in the summer. They look forward to and talk about our future together as a family. It's all good.

Tomorrow we go to court, we get the stamps and that is it, they will be ours or we will be theirs depending on your point of view. It's going to be a good day with lots of celebrating and enjoying being together. My sister is coming from sunny California and we will gather with family and friends to celebrate again on Friday.

I'll be back next week with pictures and such. It's family first around here for the next few days. It's all good though.

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