Wednesday, July 14, 2010

stream of consciousness

 I bought myself a little peace and quiet this afternoon with a dollar's worth of water balloons, it was a dollar well spent. As I type this the boys are jumping on the trampoline with water balloons.and laughing their heads off.  I am trying to stick pretty close to home today because we pushed Fudge pretty hard at therapy this morning and I know there will be fall out. It is hard to talk openly to your kid ( in kid terms) about why he could not live with his birth family. It is hard to  know that the neglect he suffered will always be with him and as I fight to have him attach solidly to me (us) and to invest in our relationship, I struggle with all that he has lost and how very hard it must be for him to trust that I am not going to leave him.

Calvin has moved through his - oh there has been a change in routine I must make trouble - and is back to being the pleasant young man I have come to love. Some of his behaviour at the cottage last week just about put me over the edge but I pulled it back together and managed to be reasonably calm. Then I ended up getting pretty frustrated with him on Sunday afternoon and it was almost as if I pushed the reset button, he pushed back a little and then stopped with the sneaky, annoying behaviours. Gotta love the rest button, to bad I don't know where it is.

Our meeting with the social worker from the big city went well last week. It is much different working with the city agency than our little country one where everyone flies by the seat of their pants all the time. We have another meeting next week and a home visit planned for August. I have a lot of stuff to do around the house in the next few weeks but it really good motivation to get it all decluttered and tidied up. I also have more paper work to fill out, questionnaires about the boys and a police record check to get done. It will all happen though.

Oh I hear the monkeys coming in, I guess all the balloons are popped and they are wet. Time for some laundry and a snack!

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