Saturday, July 12, 2008

what's in a name

Earlier this week one of the social workers came over to talk about the boys and to have us sign some paper work. One of the things that she asked us about was names - what would be changing their last names to and did we want to change any of their other names ( they each have 3). I was sort of shocked because the boys are 6 and 8 - old enough to know all of their names and know that their birth mom named them. I hadn't ever even considered changing anything about their names unless the children wanted to. One of the boys has the same middle name as P and that is kinda neat but I really would ever think of changing anything else - I even feel a little odd about changing their last names but a family with all those different last names would be a challenge

As a result I have been thinking about what a name means and our attachment or lack of attachment to a name. I have 2 names that I love but I know lots of people who could take or leave the name that their parents gave them - some people do. But I can't imagine if my name were any different, I didn't change my last name when I got married either and I do wonder how the boys will feel when they are older about their names? How does a name effect your self of identity or belonging? These boys have had a rough couple of years but does their name still provide a sense of belonging to their birthmom?

Of course I don't have any answers but lots of questions! But to move on...

So it happened, we met the boys and it was great. They are fabulous small people, things where tense at first with the adults ( us, foster mom and social worker doing all the talking) but then P pulled out his cell phone to add a birthday in and that was it, they were won over by the technology and the rest of the visit went pretty well. We left on a good note with a request for us to bring a game next time and we will see them again tomorrow and then every other day this week. Transitioning is an interesting process - I would of assumed that it there was a bit of a standard procedure but there isn't so the foster mom and I worked out what we thought looked reasonable and now that they know we aren't monsters with 4 heads (no comments from the peanut gallery) I think that things will go well. I know how nervous and stressed I am about the whole thing I can't even begin to imagine how they feel - especially since they have moves so many times already.

So my world revolves around the boys at the moment but in between the moments there are other things, like gardening and knitting - yes knitting! But I don't have any pictures of my knitting, although I am almost finished Jeanie - like about an hour from being finished. Instead I offer you a HUGE potato from the garden, My hands are not very big but the potato was tough to hold, as you can see and I was impressed. Jove and I have picked a some already and I was forced to pick a few more last night because the puppy decided that she should have a nap in a nice shady spot, on the onions and under the potato plants - luckily for the puppy it was only one plant.

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