Tuesday, May 4, 2010

Troll love.

This comment was left on my blog, since you prefer not to tell me who you are I will answer you publicly because this is my blog and I can do that.

thatwouldbeme said...



The reason the principal reacted like that toward you is because your'e a bully. Congratulations, you just taught your son that he can assault someone (again) and get away with it if he just bitches and moans and intimidates enough

Well I am impressed that you think that I have taught my son that being bully works. Let me assure you that my bitching and moaning would not have needed if the school had listened to us and his therapist in the first place. They choose not to. We tried again and again but they kept on putting Calvin in situations where he was going to fail. Yes he failed in this case, he hurt another child. He was given a consequence and he apologised to the children he hurt.
 
That being said the reason that Calvin reacted the way that he did was because he was triggered. Children who have suffered neglect and trauma often go into fight or flight mode when they feel threatened. Calvin had a brutal day socially and he panicked when challenged verbally by another child. He fought to protect himself and then he ran and hid.
 
When you have spent the first 5 years of your life fending for yourself and fighting to survive you have a tendency to over react to things. He is a child, he is learning and all of the adults in his life need to support him on that journey not shame him into submission.

12 comments:

GB's Mom said...

The person who left that comment was oblivious the world of special needs parenting. The fact that they did it anonymously, suggests they are also cowards. Keep up the great work you are doing!

Shanti said...

totally agree with GB's Mom!

H said...

It's sad when people speak before they think. You guys are doing exactly what those boys need. Don't stop the good work.

waldenbunch said...

No one can possibly understand unless you've been there done that. It makes me insane but it is just the way it is. I didn't understand what it was like to be caregiver for my parents until it happened. I didn't understand RAD until it hit our home like a hurricane. Your reply to the troll was levelheaded and true. You go, girl!

Cynthia said...

So sorry you had nasty comments left!

Chloes Mom Mary said...

I am so sorry for the nasty comment that person left.

You and P are doing a tremendous job with those two young men and I am here cheering you on!

Hang in there!

Jenny said...

I am sorry that someone left the ugly post. You are doing a great job!

Mom 4 Kids said...

Very well said Stellar Mom! Our kids do not see the world through a "typical" understanding. Miss M will tell you straight faced that the kid that told on what SHE did is the mean one and she means it with all she's got. We are working on it but it's a process.

You are doing great work with your boys, you are finding their heart and teaching them how to take it back!

marythemom said...

Obviously the troll read what you said wrong, in addition to being someone who has never walked in your shoes.

Mary in TX

K- floortime lite mama said...

how hearbreaking it is when people misunderstand us

BT said...

Boo to anonymous.
Keep up your hard work, even with the school. What you taught Calvin is that you will always fight for him. Boy, how he needs to know that! He is worth you putting your neck out for!

Tammy said...

You are doing a great job!!! It's so much harder to be the advocate for our kids. You did what was best (and most loving) not what was easiest.

I like to remind myself how truly blessed those people are who don't understand what it's like to lived with a damaged child. Our world is heartbreaking. I wouldn't wish it on anyone.