Thursday, December 2, 2010

10 things my son needs to learn.

Dear Calvin,

There are a few things that you really need to learn about me sooner rather than later.

1. I am not stupid.
2. There is little that you can do that I have not already tried.
3. I rarely got caught, you will not be as lucky.
4. Your teachers are on my side because I work at your school.
5. When I say that you are to buy book and not poster at the school book fair I mean a book and not a poster. When you proudly show me the poster you bought do not be at all surprised when I make you take it back and get a book instead. Bursting into tears is not a good solution.
6. When I ask you not to climb into the stacks of tires ( as tempting as they are) while we are at Costco waiting forever and a day for them to put our tires on DO NOT CLIMB INTO THE STACKS OF TIRES.
7. Repeating yourself over and over gets you know nowhere with me, did you hear me, nowhere.
8. I love you and all the quirky and funny things you do but if you don't stop playing with the toothpaste in the downstairs bathroom and leaving it all over the sink I am going to make you brush your teeth with baking soda.
9. I would strongly suggest that you stop dawdling over your cereal/oatmeal/toast in the morning when we are in a hurry because frankly I am tired of telling you to hurry up.
10. When I am tired and grouchy and I tell you that I would suggest you be quiet and do what I say because otherwise my head might explode and that would not be pretty.

love
Mom

6 comments:

Essie the Accidental Mommy said...

LMAO

Mmmm hmmmm, yup, yup!


It makes me laugh when my kids think they are pulling off some sort of original bs on me. Lets get something straight kids, you have nothing new to me. BTDT and got the blue ribbon too! LOL!

GB's Mom said...

Thank God you are not as clueless as he thinks you are.Sometime in his twenties, he will figure out just how much you really know!

marythemom said...

Exactly! Except at my house there is a number 11.

"Whining, crying, begging, demanding or just plain repeating what you want incessantly... will not change my mind about consequences, except maybe to make it worse for you. I did not hear the song "Mary, Mary quite contrary" everyday of my childhood in vain. Trying to change my mind has the opposite effect."

Hugs and prayers,
Mary in TX

Mama Drama Times Two said...

Bahaha. You've inspired me to write a similar list and post it in our kitchen for our crazy crew. It is true: Head Explosions are never pretty!

Sammie said...

Great list, only my son could care less if I wrote up what makes me crazy. Nothing would change. Anyway, thank you for making me laugh, I needed that.

Em said...

Wow, I could have written the exact same thing... maybe a few differences, but so similar to my life! :)