Friday, March 18, 2011

it just makes me sad.

The boys have a visit planned with their sister today, I just hung up the phone with her foster Mom and my heart is breaking. T is having a hard time, she has begun talking about things that happened to her as a little kid and is cutting to help deal with her pain. My heart is aching for her. She has foster parents who get it and who are hearing her (thankfully) but that does not make it any less painful to see a child that you care about in so much pain. I am not sure how she is going to be today, I am not sure how being with her brothers will be for her but I just want to wrap her in my arms and make it all better for her.

I am wishing that I had a magic wand. I must say my feelings toward their birthmom in this very moment are less than loving because oh my goodness her inability to acknowledge her past mistakes and her role in her children's suffering is making my blood boil. T confronted her about some things and she denied them and refused to hear what her daughter was saying to her.

Oh and just to add to my day Calvin is having a bad pain morning and given that his pain has been well controlled this week we planned on going to the wave pool today. It may not be such a good plan given that at this very moment he is lying on the couch trying to make the world dark because his eyes and his hip are hurting. He does not have another doctors appointment for 3 weeks, it might be a long 3 weeks.

5 comments:

Barb G said...

I understand the pain of siblings being separated. I can't give any advice, but here's a huge (((((hug))))). Wish I could give it in person.

BT said...

Wow. So sorry for T. And hoping Calvin's pain recedes so you can all enjoy life a bit more.

Heather said...

You know, he might actually feel better in a pool - the weightless environment is supposed to be good for aching arthritic joints. Hope he feels better soon.

It's so hard to watch children process their painful pasts, and we can't do it for them. She is blessed to have a supportive foster family, and continued ties to her brothers and your family.

Sarah said...

oh, my. I have been dealing with very similar "how do I support sibling relationships and how do I tell if it is healthy for my child or not and, and, and..." issues. It is HARD. Sending prayers for all of you.

(and also- the previous commenter is right- in my real life I am a nurse, and the #1 most effective pain treatment for arthritis is water therapy. For my elderly patients that usually involves walking the length of the pool a few times and then some time in the hot tub- but for a kid it might just be time in a wave pool-- hope it went well for you!)

Essie the Accidental Mommy said...

I hope it goes well.