It has been a rough two of days around here. The crapiness culminated last night when I lost it at Fudge. I am human, I lose my temper, it happens. I apologised and we moved on but I know that my losing it undoes months of work with him. It was frustrating because the I had maintained my composure in the face of both of them working hard to get me to yell at them after they got busted for sneaking Cokes. I was not be baited and I just went about my afternoon with both of them within 5 feet of me. Then Fudge pushed a little to hard and I blew, it was a bit like Mt. Vesuvius and it was not pretty. After I blew I called P and luckily for all of us he was on his way home.
We rehashed what had gone on with Fudge ( then he was sent to bed) and then Calvin. Calvin is in a much different place that Fudge in terms of healing and what started out as discussion about behaviour turned into a conversation about abandonment and his birth parents. It needed to happen and although there was a lot of "poor me" going on there was also truth in what he was saying. He needs to talk about it and even though his timing was less than stellar it is good that he talking to us. We got him through the hard part and on to the good parts and the day ended on positive note.
The sun came up this morning as it always does and I was still mad at them over yesterday. I managed to keep things in check but I did tell them that I was upset by their choices. We got through our morning without to much drama and then I walked outside and discovered this lovely mess.
That would be grass seed in my flower bed, yes the one that I am constantly picking the grass out of.
And if you look here you will notice that the lovely critter who did this opened and spread not 1 but 2 bags.
Luckily for me most of the larger bag was still in the bag and it did not rain last night so I managed to get a lot of it cleaned up. But holy hannah I was MAD at something - probably a raccoon.
I am off to run errands in the city and then go for an afternoon margarita with a dear friend. I can assure you it will only be one but after the last couple of days I wish it was a pitcher!
3 comments:
I wish I was there. Think of me when you are enjoying your Margarita!
You are right though, you are human and everyone will have to move on. It happens. To everyone.
(((hugs))) We can't be perfect. As our AT told me once, what our children will remember is the apology we gave and the heart that is caring for them. Our worst is sadly so much better than what they had before. Forgive yourself, dear friend. And move forward. (((hugs)))
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