Saturday, April 10, 2010

thanks

Thanks for the support last night. It means a lot to know that there are others out there who get it, who can hold my hand and who understand that I am not just some crazy emotional Mama.

As I discussed the days events with P I realised that most of anger/frustration/sadness was directed at the teachers because the days events clearly meant that Calvin was having a tough day and every time this happens ( or something like this) it is because his afternoon teacher is not on the ball enough to notice. It is a tough high needs class and I get that but still, they know that he will blow his top when pushed and then they act suprised when he does.

Calvin is staying home this weekend. He is sad that he is missing the car races today but at the same time he knows that I will not take him to things like that if he can't stay safe at school. I can not watch 16 other kids and worry about him going off at the same time. There will be another race in a few weeks, a smaller one that will be less overwhelming and he will go to that one. So Fudge and I will go and Calvin will stay home with Dad.

I also cancelled Sunday school, being in charge is good like that so we can go where we want on Sunday rather than having to go to the very crowded parish. I think it will be a good thing.

Calvin gets that he went to far yesterday but knowing what I know about what went on during the day and what the other kids said to him to set him off I am not at all suprised that it happened.

I will keep him home on Monday and actually I think that I will not send him back until the school is willing to do a few things that I need to think about more before I say them aloud. I am not going to let him be unsuccessful at school because the staff can not keep it together enough to stop him before he blows. I will not let him be sent to the behaviour program ( there is not a good one for miles). I would eat nails before I let that happen, we have seriously considered home schooling him and perhaps it is time to look at that as an option again.

This has gotten really random and rambly, I have to go get Fudge up. Thanks again for all the support last night.

6 comments:

Lisa said...

You have a great plan. It needs to include chocolate too though. :)

Homeschooling may be just what he needs. Since this year is almost over perhaps you could try it out and see if it works for both of you. I know the greatest healing for J has come since I brought her home plus she was able to relax. Not saying it's always easy but it beats being called to the school every day.

GB's Mom said...

Lisa is right- find time for chocolate!

If you can't get the school to cooperate, you could try homeschooling while fighting them. I did that with J for two months and the district even agreed to send a tutor for an hour a day, who was responsible for making sure J was working on the same thing as classmates.

Homeschooling is my backup plan for GB this June- our schools go to the end of June and I don't think she will hold it together that long. Hang in there- you are doing great :)

BT said...

Phooph. You're dealing with a lot of emotions right now, probably. In both you and Calvin. So sorry. I know it's overwhelming. School is a hard hard place for our hurt kids. If you are able to pull off homeschooling, that would probably be fantastic for both healing and attaching, not to mention learning. Otherwise, don't give up on the battles with the school. I've been through it and I know how frustrating and so not fun it is. But it is worth it if you can somehow get them to see the light. Take good care of yourself and Calvin (and Fudge and P) these days to get back to a bit more of an even keel (ha ha, I know). Thinking of you and wishing we lived closer together so we could be each other's respite.

MomInTheTrench said...

I am so sorry. I admire you greatly for being able to make your world small right now to help your kiddo. I agree that home schooling is the way to go. I can't imagine having to manage all of the the staff's behaviors AND my child's.

Mom 4 Kids said...

Your thinking seems really clear on things, hang in there! Hugs and support coming your way!

Dia por Dia said...

It's so tough to juggle the different messages (often conflicting) we may send by making decisions that we hope serve our kids. I could have written your Friday post on Wednesday regarding my daughter and her gymnastics coach. It is so hard to get folks to understand that some really "small" things can be incredibly important in helping our kids feel safe and regulated. I have kept her home from the gym until we can have a sit-down. As for the homeschooling...well it works for us and we did have to pull my daughter out of school midway due to a serious incident where the school just wanted to "discipline" her so I have been "there", am "there", and looking for a way to never visit "there" again. Hugs, Dia